


hello my old heart

by timetosleepandread



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Darkness manipulation, Empath, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, If You Squint - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, No Smut, Not Canon Compliant, Parent Tony Stark, Past Child Abuse, Stark!Reader, Stony - Freeform, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Superpowered!Reader, Telekinesis, Tony Stark is a Good Dad, but not that slow, could also be read as friends, kind of slow burn, not based on raven but accidentally a lot of ravens powers..., peter and reader are around 17 or 18 ish at this point, they're just together a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:42:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23895526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timetosleepandread/pseuds/timetosleepandread
Summary: You were seven years old when your mother passed away, leaving you to hop from foster home to foster home for most of your life.Years later, Tony Stark discovers and attempts to track a super powered something causing a disturbance in the city. When he finally finds it, he happens upon something much closer to home than the Ironman had ever expected.Taking you in is one thing, having you open up and heal from years of hurt is a completely other and everything he tries seems to make matters worse. Maybe a certain superpowered teen might be able to help break down the walls built around you.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Reader, Peter Parker/You
Comments: 11
Kudos: 74





	1. intoduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first ever fanfiction on here so I hope you like it. This is mainly just an introduction to how Tony found you and your powers. I'm not great at writing action scenes, this was really my first attempt, so sorry if it's a bit hard to follow. I tried my best haha!
> 
> Also yes I changed the age of when the reader's mother passed away, sorry. It fits with the plot better.
> 
> (The whole fic is loosely based on Hello My Old Heart by The Oh Hellos. Loosely...)
> 
> Enjoy!

“Steve, take a look at this.” Tony steps aside as Steve stands up from his spot on the couch to take a look at Tony’s screen. The other man had been tinkering on some new designs and Steve hadn’t even noticed him change his focus. 

“What is that?”

  
  
“I’m not sure,” Tony exhales, exhausted from a few too many hours in the lab, “but this isn’t the first time this exact reading has shown up. It’s not even the first time this week.” Steve takes a moment to scan the data, he isn’t exactly sure what all of it means but can gather enough to know it’s not exactly a good reading.

“Why haven’t you mentioned it?” 

“It started a few years ago. Just a blip. I told JARVIS to keep an eye on it, you know, alert me if it ever came up again.” Tony swipes up, revealing a screen with dates and levels ranging from that week all the way back to two and a half years ago. “It began showing up periodically, mainly at low levels, so I pretty much kept it to a back burner. But,” he scrolls back up to the top of the list, “About six months ago it started showing up more frequently, and with a greater impact.”

“So whatever it is, it’s getting stronger.” 

“You could say that, or possibly it’s no longer being contained.” 

Steve leans back to turn his gaze to Tony. “And what are you planning to do.” 

“Well cap, I’m so glad you asked.” Tony claps him on the back, “Suit up!” 

“Just you and me?” 

Tony nods, already walking towards the door. “Yeah, I figured we could scope it out, see what’s causing the disturbance. Blah, blah, blah, you know, superhero stuff.”

* * *

The pair of Avengers arrives in a small alleyway, haphazardly filled with empty boxes and litter. Steve is automatically on guard as Tony scans the area, hoping to get a closer read on the source of energy. 

“Anything?” 

“A small spike but it’s fading.” Tony answers. “I don’t think whatever was the energy source is still projecting it. If anything it seems like it’s powering down.” 

“It can’t hurt to take a look around.” 

They make their way through the alley, Steve continuing his outward surveillance while Tony continues to search for a higher level of energy. A hand stops Steve from turning the corner down a separate street, and he turns his focus onto Tony again. 

“What is it?”

“I’ve got another reading. It’s small but it could be something.” 

“Let’s check it out.” Tony leads the way this time, snaking through narrow streets and alleys until he finds himself staring up at a slanted apartment building. 

“In here,” Tony takes a step forward, “You ready.”

“I’ve got you covered.” Steve replies. 

  
They enter, the inside not in much better condition than the cracked and faded face of the building. They move into the stairwell, passing a dying potted plant, their quiet footsteps barely audible as they begin to climb the steps. Tony follows the signal, Steve closely behind him, up to the fifth floor, scanning the hall when they reach the landing. 

“Door number four.” They brace themselves on either side of the door, not exactly sure of what lies behind. Tony lifts his hand, signaling a countdown from three. Steve can practically hear the unsaid words as he twists the handle, surprised to find it open, _Stay alert. This could be a trap._

The door lets out a loud creek as it’s pushed forward into the small apartment. As they enter they find a scene of disarray. Papers, broken dishes, and furniture lay on the floor, adding to the sense of unease the two relatively level headed Avengers could feel growing in the pits of their stomachs. Something's not quite right. 

The soft sound of footsteps draws them to the only other room in the apartment, once again they pause outside the doorway. With a simple nod they turn the corner, catching sight of a figure in almost the same state as the other room. They’re stiff, as if bracing for something, standing in front of a clearly slept in mattress resting in the corner, the only piece of furniture in the room. The clothes hanging off their shoulders are crumpled, a few rips around the hems, and their feet are barely contained in a pair of worn out socks littered with holes.

As if caught in a trance, Tony takes a step forward as the person drops their head.

“Please,” Your voice comes out in a broken whisper, “Please leave.” 

Tony begins to say something when Steve cuts him off, “We just want to talk. That’s it.” His hand raises in defense. 

Tony takes another step toward you and your shoulders tense. “I can’t.” You risk a glance over your shoulder, your eyes meeting the cold mask covering Tony’s face. 

“Well you see, that’s not really an option here.” Tony takes a few more steps, seemingly gaining back his confidence. As he comes within arms reach the room begins to shake and he falters. The levels on his screen start to slowly rise. “What are you doing?”  
  
“Tony, watch-” Steve begins to warn as debris from the other room begins to shoot through the doorway, hurtling toward Ironman, knocking him into the wall as a dark shadow pushes Steve into the other room, slamming the door shut behind him and holding it closed. 

Tony grunts as he pushes off the wall, anger beginning to rise. “Okay. Now we’re gonna do more than talk.”

Feeling the tension in the room and anger radiating off of Tony only weakens your control over the energy you can feel bubbling in your chest, the part of you that’s taken all your strength to keep shoved down, leaving you exhausted. 

“I-” You turn to face Tony, eyes widening as you watch darkness surround him and pin him to the ceiling in a rough shove. Quickly he’s brought down again, smashing into the floor with a loud crash. He rises to his feet, letting off a blast of his own in your direction. You go to doge, barely succeeding as it brushes your left arm, burning it slightly, before blasting through your wall. 

You raise your hands in defence as you brace for another shot but instead you send discs of dark matter flying at Tony, slicing through his armor, completely rendering his left blaster useless.

“Yeah, you’re gonna really wish you didn’t just do that.” Tony takes a running leap and flies into you, knocking you through the wall and into the other room. 

Steve falls to the floor as the shadow around him vanishes, thrown off guard by your sudden take down, and rushes to help Tony. 

Tony goes in to hit as energy stops his fist from making contact. The room shakes as the bits of broken plates and furniture begin to rise, encased in darkness. A large blast sends Tony backwards, seemingly coming from you yourself, and knocks him into Steve. You stand in panic, arms outstretched in defense but not sure what will happen if they attempt to attack you again. 

  
Tony heaves forward, right arm extended and glowing as he gets ready to shoot. Steve gasps as he instantly feels his heart rate pick up and an overwhelming surge of panic. He reaches forward, roughly shoving down Tony’s arm as he meets your eyes in understanding. 

“Tony!”  
  
“What are you doing? You’re supposed to be helping-”  
  


Steve cuts him off, “She’s scared!” 

Tony stares at you, trying to take in what’s really happening. “Drop the furniture.”

“I can’t!” You call out, tears beginning to leak out of your eyes. “I can never control it!” A loud smash draws their attention as the items begin to swirl and crash through the apartment, taking out the second part of the way you and Tony previously collided with. “You need to let me go! I know what to do.”  
  
Reluctantly, Tony lets his arm fall completely. You shakily step forward toward the dark colored cyclone that is continuing to grow, pulling up the broken bits of drywall and rubish.  
  


Tony and Steve stare in confusion as you come impossibly close to the tornado before it surges forward, catching you with it’s edges, sending a few large pieces of ceramic and splintered wood at you, knocking you, and all the rest of the debris, to the ground in a matter of seconds. 

The room is eerily silent as Tony and Steve stand in shock for a few moments until Tony rushes toward your collapsed body, scanning you as he runs. 

“Call for transport. She needs medical attention.”  
  
Steve wastes no time, and in just under a minute you are placed in the back of a van and on your way to the Avengers Headquarters. 

* * *

The first thing that you recognize as you slowly regain consciousness is the steady beeping of your own heart. 

The second is the feeling of eyes on you and a sense of unease. 

Slowly you peel open your eyes, shutting them again quickly at the burning sensation before trying again. It must be sometime in the early morning, the large windows letting in pale light but only enough to bathe the room in soft daylight, not completely chase out the shadows. The room is completely gray and white, modern in design but still filled with the distinct disinfectant smell of all hospitals. You turn your head to take in more of your surroundings before coming face to face with Captain America, this time out of uniform. 

Your heart rate increases and you attempt to push yourself into a sitting position, wincing as your body protests to the sudden movement, before noticing your hands caught in some sort of restraint. You wonder how you hadn’t noticed them before, the slight buzz of energy tingling over your hands and keeping you in place. 

“Easy now, you don’t want to open your stitches.” Steve places a hand on your shoulder, removing it as he notices you flinch and your gaze locked on the cuffs, “Those are mainly there as a precaution.” 

You stay silent, nodding your head instead. 

“So,” Steve continues after a pause, “Want to explain how you could do all that?”

You close your eyes and focus on calming your breathing instead of answering his question. “Can-” You cough a bit to clear your throat, cringing at the roughness, “Can I have some water?” 

“Sure.” He stands up and goes over to a counter on the far side of the room, taking out a glass and bottle of water from the cabinet. “That panic, the fear I felt, that was from you, wasn’t it?” He turns back and you nod again as he places the cool bottle next to your bed. Steve spends the next forty five minutes attempting to coax any more information out of you, not with much luck, before you start to doze off again, your body craving more rest. 

Once he’s sure you are fully asleep he stands and exits the secluded room, the door locking behind him. He catches sight of Tony and Bruce in deep discussion, their hushed voices bouncing around the large room, words muffled.

He makes his way over to them, “Hey, anything come back from the tests?” 

Bruce turns to face him, brows drawn together and eyes darting back to Tony. “About her abilities and how she got them, no.” He pauses, “But, uh, the DNA test came back with one positive match.” 

“That’s great. Can we track down a family member?” 

“No need.” Tony turns to him and Steve can read the fatigue radiating off of him. “Apparently, she’s my daughter.” Tony reaches up and rubs the back of his neck, shoulders slumping as Steve stares at him in mild confusion.

  
“Are you sure?”

  
“Positively.” Bruce interjects, “We ran the test multiple times to make sure, taking multiple samples from her and Tony. Tony is biologically her father.” 

“But how?” 

Tony sighs, “I’m not sure but it’s not _completely_ surprising. I wasn’t exactly clean cut around the time she must have been born.” He leans against the desk, crossing his arms, “I’m just confused why this is the first time I’ve found out about her. Why her mother didn’t tell me.” 

“Do you know who her mom is?” 

Tony shakes his head, rubbing his temples in thought and exhaustion. “No, hopefully she does.”

“Well this is certainly not what I was expecting from a simple disturbance surveillance mission, what are you going to do.” Steve placed his hand on Tony’s shoulder as Tony looked up at him. 

“Become a Dad I guess.”


	2. Are you still there inside my chest?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armlets, adjustments, and awkward encounters. 
> 
> Getting used to life after a total one eighty takes a bit more grace than you possess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so long I'm so sorry.

Days pass by in an awkward dance of questions and silences.

You’ve spent the past three days continuing healing, talking to mainly Steve, and sleeping. You requested your cuffs remain on despite Steve offering to have Bruce or Tony come in to remove them. While Steve is mainly the one who seems designated to watch over you, other avengers have stopped in to take a look at you and you aren’t used to the attention you receive. With this causing added stress and the unreliability of your control, you think the cuffs are a safety precaution you are ready to live with permanently. 

That exact idea is what leads Tony, Bruce, and Steve into a deep discussion of what the next step should be in handling you. 

“Have you talked to her yet?” Steve’s voice is accusatory as he stares down Tony, taking in his disheveled appearance. His wrinkled black t-shirt and dark circles betraying the calm and well rested mask he attempts to portray. 

“Not yet.” 

“You can’t just leave her in there chained to the bed, she’s not a criminal.” Steve huffs, already having a growing soft spot for the girl currently asleep in the room down the hall, “She’s your daughter and she’s scared.” 

“I know that,” Tony squares his shoulders, pushing off of the desk he was leaning on, developing a defensive stance, “What am I supposed to say, ‘oh hey, I know you’re completely worried out of your mind and freaked out that it’s going to cause even more damage, but I figured I should tell you I’m your long lost father?’ I’m sure that’ll calm her down right away.” 

“Steve’s right though, Tony. The longer you wait the more awkward it becomes.” Bruce interjects. “At least stop in to say something to her. Maybe convince her to eat an actual meal.” 

“Honestly, none of it will really matter until we can convince her to let you take off the cuffs.” Steve adds with a sigh, “At this point, I’m pretty positive she isn’t going to try and harm anyone.” 

“At least on purpose,” Bruce mumbled but there's no harshness behind the words. 

“Okay, okay. Let me think.” Tony runs a hand down his face before turning to Bruce, “The cuffs use energy to limit her own energy, correct?” Bruce nods, beginning to follow his train of thought, “So if we create something to send periodic pulses, but not limit her movement,” Tony turns around, grabbing a stray piece of scratch paper off the desk and the pencil from behind his ear, scribbling a few ideas as Bruce and Steve stare over his shoulders. 

“Tony, that might just work.” Bruce breathes, taking in Tony’s crude sketch and estimates.

“I know.” Tony begins to walk away, calling over his shoulder, “Meet me in the lab in twenty.” 

“I’ll bring the coffee.” Steve adds as the two leave the room. He debates going in to check on you but decides it’s best if you are left to rest. 

* * *

The upside of the three days sitting in the med bay with practically nothing to do is actually restful sleep, something you haven’t had in far longer than you realized. The bed in your room, although not nearly as high quality as those in the actual bedrooms, is miles above what you’re used to in the foster homes you grew up in and even farther above the tiny mat you have in your run-down apartment. 

A soft knock brings you out of your thoughts as none other than Tony Stark himself walks in, looking a bit out of place, as if he isn’t sure where to stand when he sees you’re awake.

“Um, hi.” He takes a step closer and it doesn’t take your abilities to read the caution casting off of him, “I tried to stop in to see you earlier but you were asleep.”

  
  
“Oh, sorry.” You cast your eyes down to the pale cotton sheets, running the edge through your hands, waiting for him to continue.

“No it’s alright, I just figured you deserve some rest, it seems like you could use it.” He takes in your silence and downcast eyes as he approaches the chair next to your bed, “Do you mind if I sit?” 

You simply nod toward the chair, unspoken permission, and watch as he sits down. 

“So,” He attempts to break the awkward tension in the room, “Steve tells me your name is y/n,” another nod, “Well, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Tony.”

A small smile pulls at the edge of your mouth just slightly, “I know who you are,” He cocks an eyebrow, letting you continue, “I know who you all are, to be honest. You guys are a ray of hope for most kids growing up in foster homes. Even if it seems like no one’s on your side, the Avengers look out for everyone. Even us.” You don’t fight the smile as it forms completely, finally looking up to meet Tony’s eyes. 

“Are you hungry?” He asks, mirroring your smile.

“Oh, um, I’m okay.”

“Really? ‘Cause Steve told me you haven’t had much to eat since arriving, just a few meals, and well, it’s been three days.”

“I know, I just,” You pause, thinking through the right words to say, “I didn’t grow up with, um, big portions, so really. I’m fine.”

“Oh, so your mother-”

  
  
“No, it wasn't her. She died when I was seven. Her name was Juliet. She was, um, sick.” Your smile turns sad, “I honestly don’t remember that much about her but I know she did her best. It was hard, raising me on her own I mean.” 

“Juliet.” Tony leans back in his chair in thought, a faint recognition passing through his features, “And your father?”

  
  
“I never met him,” You turn your gaze back to your sheets, “She used to say he would love me, that his heart was too big for his own good, even if he tried to hide it, that he was a hero and it just wouldn’t be fair to interrupt his life once he finally pulled it together. I guess they were a simple fling and it wasn’t supposed to be serious.” You sigh, “I don’t know. Most of the kids told me he’s probably actually some dead beat who didn’t want her, and especially me, and that she was just trying to spare me the heartache. Your guess is as good as mine.” You turn your face to meet Tony’s wide eyes, “If this is about my powers-”

“Actually,” He cuts you off, “It’s not about that at all.” 

“Oh, well, I’m not exactly sure what else you want with me, sir.” 

“I’m not exactly sure how to say this,” He scrunches up his face, trying to sift through and find the right words before simply landing on, “I’m your father.”  
  


Whatever you expected from Tony Stark, this was certainly not it.

He continues, “Biologically speaking, that is.” He meets your wary gaze, “But I would love to offer you a place here, at the compound, and if you’ll have it, in my life.” 

“Are you-” You take a calming breath, thankful the cuffs have restrained your abilities or things would surely be floating by now, “Are you sure?” 

He nods, “One hundred percent. On all accounts.” 

“But I’m dangerous. I can’t control myself most of the time, I mean I can barely pull it back in when I get set off, and if it happens in quick succession I definitely-” 

“But that's where this comes in,” He pulls a palm-sized silver box from his pocket, opening it up to reveal a plain silver band. “It works similarly to the cuffs, small pulses of energy released periodically to subdue your powers. No more shadow cyclones.” He takes the band out of the box and lifts it to show you, “Bruce and I whipped it up. It should work but we’ll probably create a few more, and if the design doesn’t look like something you like we can work on that too. It’s made using a small amount of vibranium so it shouldn’t break on you either and should absorb any energy the pulses don’t stop.” He rambles on a bit, “I just figured we could use this then maybe help you learn to control-”  
  


“It’s perfect. Thank you.” 

After a bit of maneuvering, you watch as Tony hesitantly removes your cuffs, the armlet securely around your upper arm sending the same small hum of energy through your body. 

“Now,” Tony stands up, “I figured I could take you to your room now that you're no longer chained to a hospital bed. We can get you a clean change of clothes as well.” 

* * * 

The walk up to your new quarters is awkward, to say the least. You trail a few feet behind Tony trying to process both the unexpected turn of events and the grandiose of the building your struggling to ever imagine calling home. Once you enter your room you find your eyes scanning every inch. 

“I hope it’s good enough for now,” Tony scratches the back of his neck, “We can work on getting more to what makes you comfortable in the next few days but this is all we could do on short notice.” 

His statement is almost laughable, you would’ve never dreamt you would call a room like this your bedroom, and the fact that Tony’s afraid it’s not good enough just highlights how different your lives have been. There are tall bookshelves crammed with books of pretty much any genre and a beg bigger than any you had seen in person before, not to mention a connected bathroom. 

“Thank you, Tony, for, well, everything.” You turn to face him, a slanted smile playing on your lips. 

“Don’t mention it.” He exits your room after an awkward yet somehow endearing pat on your shoulder, leaving you to ponder what the next few days would bring.   
  


You find yourself lost in thought as you scan over the books lining the shelves. Is this a place you’ll ever be able to call home? You can’t help but doubt you’ll be welcomed with open arms when you cause so much damage. Is it really possible to make a new start, finally become a part of a family? 

Eventually, the prospect of a nice warm shower crosses your mind, chasing away the doubts for a moment. You find your way to the bathroom, stripping off your dirty clothes and taking a moment to glance at yourself in the mirror. Your tired gaze stares back at you, perpetual dark circles lining the underside of your eyes despite the amount of sleep you’ve had in the med bay. It's all outlined by shallow cuts and a few deeper gashes held together by stitches that you're sure will leave some scaring. 

You move away from the mirror, twisting on the shower, remove your last article of clothing, and step into the warming stream of water. You release a sigh at the feel of your muscles relaxing under the spray. You take a few extra moments reveling in the warmth before beginning to wash your hair. 

Ultimately, you are forced to call it quits once you feel your fingers beginning to prune and you feel sufficiently clean. Stepping out of the shower sends a shiver down your spine as you adjust to the chilled temperature in the foggy bathroom. Quickly wrapping yourself in one of the navy towels you found in the cabinet, you dry off. 

Exiting the bathroom, you make your way over to the wardrobe, hoping for a clean change of clothes instead of slipping on your dirty ones you just changed out of. Pulling open the door you find a few pairs of joggers, plain t-shirts, and sweatshirts hanging. You then check the drawers and discover a couple pairs of undergarments and socks. You gently get dressed, pulling a t-shirt over your head and slipping into a pair of joggers before running your towel through your damp hair. 

“Miss y/n, Mr. Stark asked me to inform you lunch is ready.” A female voice rings out from seemingly nowhere, making you flinch at the sudden interruption as you pull on a sweatshirt and pair of socks. 

“Oh, thank you…” You trail off, not sure how to respond or who is talking. 

“I’m F.R.I.D.A.Y, Mr. Stark’s Artificial Intelligence overseeing the compound,” The voice continues, “Lunch can be found in the communal room on floor three.” And with that, you’re left alone again.

You debate just staying in your room, not exactly excited to meet more Avengers and engage in uncomfortable small talk, but with the realization that you really haven’t had a full meal in longer than just the past few days and the comfort of energy buzzing through your body holding back anything disastrous you decide to head down anyway. 

After quickly brushing through your hair, you close your door behind you and enter the elevator, clicking and illuminating the 3, stuffing your hands into your pockets. To your relief you enter what seems like a mostly empty kitchen, the only other person you see is Bruce standing at the stove stirring something in a pot. You make your way over to the counter, your footsteps muffled by your heavy wool socks. 

Bruce turns to you as you come closer, a look of surprise coming across his face, ‘'Oh, hi y/n!” He smiles at you, genuinely excited to see you out of the med bay and all cleaned up, “How’s that armband working for you?” 

“It’s, um, it’s working as well as I can tell,” You fiddle with the band under your sweatshirt, content with the buzz of energy pulsing through you, “No accidental energy mishaps.” You raise your hands as if to demonstrate. “Honestly, I can’t even feel my, uh, powers which is new but kind of welcome.” 

“Good, I’m glad it’s working.” He turns back to his food, “I think Tony had something whipped up for you, it should be in the dining room.” He gestures toward a doorway with his head. You give him a simple thank you and you turn towards the doorway, “Fair warning, there might be a few others in there. They can be intimidating at first but they mean well.” You nod, steadying your breath as you turn the corner into the room. 

You weren’t exactly prepared to come face to face with over half the Avengers, then again no one really can be, and your breath gets caught in your throat as your fingers begin to fidget with the bottom of your sleeves. You mentally remind yourself to thank Tony and Bruce again for the band preventing an almost certain uncontrollable outburst as you blink, hoping your face isn’t as red as it feels under the eyes of the team. 

“Hey y/n!” Steve motions for you to come over to him, breaking the awkward tension in the room, no doubt caused by the fact you just so happen to be Tony’s daughter he had _no idea he even had_ just a few days ago. You take a seat in the empty chair beside him. “I’m glad you came down,” Steve offers a reassuring smile but it does little to push down the panic rising in your chest. Steve follows your eyes as you scan the room full of superheroes desperately attempting and failing to keep their gazes off of you, “Most days aren’t like this,” He whispers to you, “Thursdays just happen to be team lunch.” 

You nod at him, aiming for a smile but achieving more of a grimace. You manage to look at those seated closest to you, recognizing most of them. There’s Bucky Barnes, sitting on Steve’s right side, Natasha Romanoff next to Bucky, and Clint Barton on your left. 

“Huh, seems like my seat’s been taken,” Someone says through a chuckle behind you. Turning around, you spot Tony with a plate stacked high with sandwiches in his hands. 

“Oh I’m sorry,” You begin to stand up before Steve places a hand on your shoulder. 

“He’s kidding, well kind of, he can sit next to Clint.” 

“Or Clint could move over a seat,” Nat interjects, giving Clint a look. 

“Ah yeah, sure.” He moves over and Tony slides into the seat next to you, moving the plate of sandwiches in front of you.

“I wasn’t sure what you like so I just sort of grabbed one of every kind. I hope that’s fine.” Tony grabs a napkin from the table and places it in front of himself as you grab the first sandwich from the pile and he grabs one of the ones you left behind. 

“Thank you.” You eat in uncomfortable silence, keeping your eyes on your plate for the most part. 

“So, y/n, where are you from?” Clint speaks up once you finish your bite. 

“I grew up in the city.” 

“Cool,” There’s an awkward pause and little small talk is carried on through the rest of the meal. 

You begin to make your way out of the dining room, thankful for the private bedroom you now have to go back to, but a hand on your arm stops you. You turn to face Natasha as she pulls you to the side of the room. 

“Y/n, I just wanted to let you know we’re all glad you’re here.” She gives you a small smile, “But I’m not going to pretend like it’s not going to take some adjustment on both sides and there are bound to be some bumps along the way, but really, we're all in your corner now. I'd recommend being patient with Tony, he’s trying his best. And if you ever need to talk, I happen to be fantastic at keeping secrets.” She lets you go with another soft smile. 

* * *

Later that evening you find yourself wandering the halls, exploring a few of the many floors of the compound. Taking the elevator to floor one, you find yourself in a wide lobby area, a few empty couches and chairs lining the walls of the entranceway but not much else. You slowly trail the length of the room, feeling the cold of the tile floor seep through and chill your sock laden feet, enjoying the peace the empty room has. 

Closing your eyes, you breathe in deeply, letting your shoulder slump in an attempt to release tension. You give yourself permission to let the energy you’ve become so used to bubble in your chest only to come up empty. The lack of sensation brings a smile to your face. For the first time you can remember, your inside feels still, a calm you’ve always strived for but have never been able to reach before. In a moment of pure elation, you plop down right where you are, laying down on your back, letting the chill travel from your feet through your whole body. Reveling in the nothingness.

“Oh, sorry!” A voice calls, startling you. Your eyes shoot open landing on a boy standing a few feet away as you pull yourself into a sitting position. The boy’s deep brown hair is disheveled, looking like he’s run his hand through it a few too many times, and he has a backpack slung haphazardly over one shoulder. “I didn’t know anyone else was going to be here,” His cheeks light up as if he was the one just caught laying down in the middle of an empty lobby. “I’m Peter.” He offers you a hand that you accept, shaking hands before he helps you onto your feet. 

“Thank you,” you brush the back of your pants, dispelling any possible dirt or dust from the floor, “I wasn’t really expecting anyone either.” This reminds you of the only downside you can find to having your powers stripped, no sensing people nearby due to emotions. Sure it’s calm, but it also leads you into situations like this apparently. You didn't even hear him come in.

“So, uh, are you also an intern or…” 

“Oh, no,” You shake your head, thankful to find his role here without having to ask, “I’m Mr. Stark, er, Tony’s...daughter, I guess.”

  
At this Peter’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead. “I didn’t know Mr. Stark had a daughter, to be honest.” 

“Neither did he,” You quickly continue, “Or anyone for that matter, myself included, until a few days ago.” 

“Oh.” He still just stares at you in mild shock.

“I’m y/n.” 

He offers you a smile, reaching out his hand again, “Nice to meet you y/n.” You can’t help but chuckle as you shake his hand for the second time. “Sorry, that was so weird.” He pulls his hand back and wipes it on his jeans. “Anyway, you don’t happen to know where Mr. Stark is, Happy told me I was supposed to meet him-” 

He’s interrupted by the soft ding of the elevator, doors sliding open to reveal Tony himself.

“Underoos, how long have you-” He stops short when he sees you, “Oh hi. I thought you were upstairs.”

“Sorry, I was just walking around.” You look to the floor. 

“No need to be sorry,” He shakes his head, “I see you ran into Peter.” You nod. “Well, sorry to cut this meeting short but I have to talk to him about...something.”

“It was really nice meeting you, y/n.” Peter’s smile lights up his whole face, eyes crinkling at the corners. 

“Yeah.” You decide to call it a night despite the light still slowly fading from the sky. Returning to the elevator, you turn around to see Tony and Peter follow behind you before stopping. “Oh, did you want to-” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Tony slings an arm around Peter’s shoulders, causing him to stumble forward, “Pete and I will take the next one, don’t worry about it.” 

As you leave, Tony turns to face Peter, who’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“So, not exactly how I wanted to break the news.” Tony sighs, “Was everything alright when you got here.” 

“Yeah, Mr. Stark. I think she was just enjoying the quiet.” Peter scratches his neck as the elevator arrives back on their level. They climb in, Tony pushing the button for the lab. 

“Interesting.” He leans back against the wall, “Anyway, I need your brain. Bruce and I whipped up a prototype, but we were thinking you could help us with some of the finer details, it's kind of experimental. That is if you’re up for it.”

“Yeah of course! T-thank you so much, Mr. Stark, really. You won’t regret this.” Peter practically starts vibrating in excitement, “I have so many ideas, is this for you? Something for the new suit. Oh, don’t tell me it's a new Spider-Man suit? Or something for Hawkeye? I have about a billion ideas for different arrows, I mean, I’m sure you’ve already made some, but I mean a _billion ideas_. Or-”

“Yep. Making me regret it already.” Tony turns his face to the doors as they slide open, but he can’t keep the slight fondness out of his eyes as he strides into the lab. “It’s actually for a bracelet, or armlet, or whatever you want to call it.” 

They spend the next few hours pouring over sketches and numbers, trying to figure out a way to make it work well enough to stabilize but not completely strip away someone’s abilities. 

Upstairs, laying a bed nicer than anything you've ever owned, you fall into a dreamless sleep, mind drifting away from the peace and quiet and boy who showed up out of nowhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is almost 4,000 words....oops.
> 
> Again sorry it was so freaking long. I got slightly carried away writing it. I almost split it into two but I already have everything laid out and I don't think straying from that already would be a good idea haha. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!


	3. I've been so worried, you've been so still, Barely beating at all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a rare lapse of judgement, you end up spending an evening at the Parker residence.

The awkward lobby run-in with Peter isn’t a one-time thing. You notice he tends to spend a good portion of his weekend at the compound, as well as a few random weeknights. While you’re not entirely sure what his internship entails, you can tell everyone at the tower seems to have a soft spot for the teen. 

However, while Peter seems to have an easy relationship with everyone, albeit filled with a bit of light-hearted ribbing from the team, your conversations with each Avenger feel forced and awkward. Not to mention the uncomfortable tension surrounding you and your father. Besides a few cringe-worthy discussions over your schooling, ending with you deciding to take a few online classes to officially graduate high school, every time you and Tony attempt to make conversation it seems to just make things more awkward. You haven’t been able to express how you grew up or why you are the way you are to anyone, let alone your father, without your throat closing up and hands shaking in apprehension, your mind drifting to dark closets and calloused hands. 

You spend your days mostly in your room, avoiding the common areas even on days where the majority of the team is elsewhere, bringing almost all of your meals to eat in your own living corridors aside from a few dinners you felt you should attend, to show how grateful you are for a warm meal and bed. 

The team has noticed you like your space and respect it enough for you to not act like a total basket case in front of everyone. Steve continues to reach out, offering smiles and empty seats to make you feel like you have a place, and Tony really does try his best, triple-checking your preferences on your, well everything, but is yet to find a way to get closer to you. It doesn’t help that you keep pulling away. 

The only other person who really seems to be making an effort to connect with you is Peter Parker himself. Each interaction you have with him is a bit jumbled, his excited air brushing against your hesitant one, managing to leave you almost breathless. You don’t think you’ve ever met anyone like him, ready and willing to welcome you with literally no questions asked. He frequently offers you a spot at movie nights with his friends or asks if you would like to join them for games and snacks. Each time you attempt to politely refuse, expecting him to eventually give up and stop asking, although he seems to have an abnormal amount of persistence. 

You’ve been at the compound for just over a month now, and you finally feel like you have a grasp on where everything is located in the kitchen. You’re fixing lunch when you hear the elevator ding. Mentally preparing yourself for whoever might be walking through that door, you take a few deep breaths. To no surprise at all, Tony walks through followed by a slightly breathless Peter as he rambles on about something sciency. 

You keep your eyes focused on the skillet in front of you, your grilled cheese taking it’s time to really toast, and try to avoid awkward conversation by looking distinctly busy. It doesn’t really work. 

“So you see if you focus the energy to-” Peter trails off as he turns his gaze away from Tony, realizing they’re no longer alone, “Oh, hey y/n!” 

You glance up, offering him a small smile, before flipping your sandwich. There’s a feeling you’ve noticed beginning to grow every time you're around people, like a dull ache sitting right behind your forehead. It gives you a sense of unease you attempt to ignore as you shift your concentration back on your meal. 

Tony and Peter continue speaking in more hushed voices before FRIDAY announces an incoming call from “Dr. Banner” and Tony excuses himself to take the call in his lab, grabbing an apple on his way out. 

Peter watches him leave, plopping down on one of the chairs connected to the kitchen island. It’s weirdly silent as you continue to work, the hairs on the back of your neck prickling as you feel Peter watching you as you move your sandwich to a plate. You turn around, brows arched in confusion as you meet Peter’s gaze, he doesn’t even bother to look away from you.

“Yes?” 

“Nothing, I just thought I’d let you start the conversation if you wanted.” He chuckles, fingers tapping on the counter, “I tend to ramble and I just figured if you needed quiet I’d give it to you.” 

“Oh. Thanks,” your eyes dart from him to the door, debating taking your grilled cheese back to your floor, before moving to the other seat at the counter. Your feet bounce quietly on the bar under the chair as you sit next to Peter. You quietly use a knife to slice your sandwich into triangles. He nods approvingly and a soft smile spreads on your face. 

“Respectable sandwich slicing. I don’t think I could continue talking to you if you had sliced it any other way.” 

“I wasn’t aware sandwich slicing was so important,” He feigns hurt, placing a hand on his chest, “But I’ll make note of it for future lunches.” 

You sit in silence, feet still bouncing and the dull headache you sensed earlier growing, eating your properly sliced grilled cheese. 

You get up to rinse your plate before loading it into the dishwasher as Peter speaks up again. “Do you have any plans tonight?” 

“Um, I was just planning on staying in, read a little maybe.” You dry your hands on a dishtowel, facing him again, anticipating his next words. 

“Well, if you want to get out of the compound for a bit, I was having a few, and I mean really just a few, friends over to watch a movie tonight.” He quickly clarifies, “If you wanted to come. It should be fun, pizza and popcorn are included. I won’t even make you put on shoes.” He gestures to your sock-covered feet, causing a small laugh to escape from your chest. 

You don’t know if it’s the fact that he caught you off guard, noticing your preference for bare feet, or if it’s the fact that you feel bad shooting him down once again or maybe it’s just the subconscious need to prove to yourself the dull headache is purely anxiety induced but you find yourself hesitantly nodding.

“Sure.”

“Really? Great!” He sends you one of his signature grins, face lighting up in surprise, “I’ll text you the details!” He stands to leave before turning back to you. “Uh, sorry. Do you have a phone?” You nod, thankful for the phone Tony got you once you were able to settle down a bit. “Cool, can I text you?” You nod again, his smile grows larger, if that was even possible. 

You hand him your phone, unlocking it and opening it to the messages. He quickly types a message to himself, raising his own phone when it vibrates to signal he’s got it. 

“I’ll see you tonight, y/n.” He leaves the room, cheeks lightly dusted pink in what you can only assume is relief. 

After that you head back to your room, deciding to read a bit now since you no longer will be able to later tonight, and try not to worry about what a movie night with Peter’s friends could entail. 

* * * 

A few hours later FRIDAY calls you down to the lab and you reluctantly find your way down to that floor, fiddling with your sleeves as you wait for the elevator to arrive. As the doors slide open you take slow steps into the unfamiliar room. You’ve only been down here once before to look over a few designs for a more permanent armband. 

“Ah, y/n, just the girl we were looking for!” Tony welcomes you with his usual confident air, causing your own air to get caught in your throat. 

You cough a bit as your eyes move from Tony to Bruce sitting at a desk a few feet behind him, and back to Tony. “You called for me?” You mean for it to come out more as a statement but don’t quite succeed. 

“Yeah, we wanted to give you this,” He directs your attention to a sleek black band, similar to the silver one currently on your arm. “It’s new and improved! It should be more comfortable, oh and it’s limit is adjustable, just in case you ever want to use your powers. Not that you have to, but the option is there.” 

You feel yourself reach out towards Tony, the dull ache at your temples making itself known as you take the band in your trembling hands. “Thank you.” You take a few deep breaths, feeling the pair’s eyes on you as you begin to switch them out. Your fingers graze over cool silver, sending a buzz of energy through your arm, and attempt to swallow the lump forming in your throat. With an almost inaudible click, the band splits in two on a hinge, coming free of your arm. You feel the soft vibration of energy slowly leave your body causing you to brace yourself for some sort of reaction, lungs tight with a captive breath. As the band comes off completely, however, you are shocked and slightly relieved to feel, well, nothing. Now bubbling, no rising, not even the usual low hum of unreleased power. To be honest you can’t even tell how the other people in the room are feeling. 

You feel _normal_. 

Which is something you have always wanted but alongside the excitement, an underlying thread of unease races up your spine. You quickly replace the silver armband, the new one is far more comfortable if you're being honest. 

“How does it feel?” Bruce asks from his spot at the desk.

“Good, comfortable.” 

Tony and Bruce both nod, “Good, that’s good.” Tony continues, “Y/n, if you want to, I was wondering if you’d want to have dinner with me tonight,” His offer surprises you, “We could go out or order in something, I was thinking Thai but if you want something else we can get that.”

“Actually, I have plans tonight.”

His eyebrows shoot up in obvious surprise. “Oh, I didn’t know I just assumed-”

“Yeah, sorry, Peter invited me to a movie night, again, and I just figured I would go this time. I can always cancel if you want to-” 

“No, no worries!” He gives you a genuine smile, “I think it’s great. Have fun.” He pats you on the shoulder before walking out of the lab, a smile still present on his face. 

You turn to leave too before Bruce stops you. “Hey, y/n, let me show you how to adjust the levels on that.” 

You nod, moving toward him, “I don’t think I’ll need to adjust it much.” He shrugs, showing you the small controls on the inside of the band. 

“Just in case, then.” Once he finishes, he smiles at you. “How are you feeling.”

“I mean it's more comfortable than the last one-”

“No, I mean how are _you_ feeling, not how does it feel.” 

“I’m-” You pause, wondering how to really respond, “Okay I guess. I think I’m getting used to the compound, which is nice.”

He smiles again, “Yeah, that is good. And physically, are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, everything’s healed up for the most part.” He looks at you with a raised eyebrow and you wonder if he knows you’re not being 100% honest with him. 

“You sure?”

“Um, yeah.” Maybe it’s his uncertain look or the fact that you seem to be doing a lot of things out of character today, but you continue, “Except I’ve been having headaches? They’re not too bad, though.” You hope you sound convincing. “But really, I feel normal, I guess. Or what I would imagine being normal would be. No energy pulses, nothing. It’s been nice.” 

“Hmm, interesting.” He turns to jot a couple of things down, “Let me know if the headaches continue with the new band.” 

“I will.” And you mean it. “Can I be honest, and you won’t tell anyone.” He nods, “I can’t really shake the feeling that I’m gonna, I don’t know, mess up somehow. I’ve never been good at controlling any of this, “You gesture to yourself, “and even now, when I can’t feel it or anything, a part of me is terrified I’m going to explode. Like there will always be something wrong, something dangerous, in me.”

“Y/n, I know how you feel.” He places a hand on your arm, “But you can’t live your life like that, believe me, I tried. Even though I have the hulk in me, that’s not all I am. That’s not the reason I’m on the team. And the same goes for you. You’re not here just because you have powers you may or may not be able to control, I don’t even think the fact you’re Tony’s daughter plays the biggest part either. Tony seems to have a soft spot for the underdogs, and as soon as we realized you needed help he decided you could stay, way before we found out you were related. And once we saw how genuinely smart and thoughtful you are we all knew he made the right call. He usually does.” 

You feel your face warm at the compliments, not used to being actually seen. “Thanks, thank you, Bruce.” 

“Anytime, although you should maybe talk to Tony about how you’re feeling. He cares, he just isn’t the greatest at showing it.” He turns back to whatever he was working on, “Now I think you have a movie night to get ready for.” 

* * *

The drive to Peter’s apartment is peaceful, a nice change as you attempt to make your heartbeat match it. Happy is mostly quiet as he drives, which you are thankful for. He drops you off at the front of Peter’s building with a reminder to text him when you need a ride back and a smile you suppose is meant to be comforting. 

You make your way up to Peter’s floor, double-checking the apartment number about twelve times before knocking on the door. It swings open to reveal a frazzled Peter, hair sticking up at old angles. 

“Hey, y/n!” A loud crash comes from farther in the apartment followed by a few shouts. “Oh, don’t worry that’s just Ned, he probably knocked something over.” Another crash followed by an “Are you _kidding_ me?!” draws Peter’s attention back into the apartment. “Sorry, come on in.” 

Peter steps aside, letting you cross through the doorway. He leads you to what you assume is the living room where a boy around your age is on the floor frantically shoveling popcorn back into a bowl. “Sorry Peter, MJ scared me when I was coming back into the room and I accidentally knocked over the bowl. She went to go see if you had anymore-” He turns to look up at Peter, stopping when he sees you, “Oh, hi! You must be y/n!” He stands up and offers you a hand to shake, kicking over the half-full bowl of popcorn in the process, “Oops.” He blushes in embarrassment as you shake his hand with a small chuckle. 

“Y/n, this is Ned. My best friend, and this,” He turns to face two others walking into the room, one a girl also around your age holding two boxes of pizza and a scrutinizing look on her face, and the other obviously an adult with a broom and dustpan in her hands, “This is MJ, and May, my aunt.” 

“Nice to meet you all,” You attempt to muster up a smile, the pain in your head returning. 

May and Ned cleaned up the popcorn while MJ silently offered you a slice of pizza. Eventually, May brings in a fresh bowl of popcorn, making a point to hand it to you instead of Ned. 

“I didn’t really get to say hi, I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m so glad you decided to come tonight.” She offers you a warm smile, “Now I’ll let you crazy kids get on with it.” She winks as she turns to leave, a chorus of "bye" and "thank you" ringing out before you all settle into your seats. You, Peter, and Ned take the couch while MJ stretches out on the loveseat. 

MJ puts on some indie film while Peter leans over to whisper to you, “It’s her turn to pick.” 

To which she responds, “I can hear you and if it wasn’t my turn we’d probably be watching star wars again.” You can’t help but smile.

“To be fair, I probably would’ve picked The Fellowship of the Ring again,” Ned adds, shrugging. 

“Return of the King is better and you know it.” Peter looks at him with a face.

“He’s got you there.” You shrug, feeling a weight lift off your chest. Suddenly tonight seems like it’s going to be a lot easier than you first assumed. There’s a bit more bickering as you all settle in. 

As the movie begins, Peter gets up and turns off the lights before returning to his seat in between you and Ned. It’s relatively quiet, everyone focused on the movie, aside from a few sarcastic comments from MJ or Ned throughout the movie. About three-quarters of the way into the movie you lose the battle to keep your eyes open drifting silently into sleep. 

You are woken up later by a soft shaking. You open your eyes, trying to get a bearing on your surroundings, lifting your head off whatever you were resting on. You feel your cheeks heat up when you realize it’s Peter’s shoulder. 

“Hey,” he whispers, as if afraid to startle you, “The movie’s over, MJ had to head home, Ned’s currently getting ready for bed. I thought I should probably wake you up.” You notice his cheeks are also slightly pink in the soft light seeping in from the hall. 

“Yeah, I should text Happy.” You quickly pull out your phone, messaging Happy for a ride home, before turning back to Peter, “Sorry I fell asleep.”

He chuckles lightly, “It’s all good. I’m just glad you finally agreed to come. Sorry if it was boring.”

“No, it was fun.” You smile and attempt to rub the sleep out of your eyes, stifling a yawn, “This was the most relaxed I’ve been in a long time.” 

“Oh, well that’s good then.” He gets up and grabs the empty pizza box, offering you a hand to stand up, “I’m sorry if it wasn’t what you were expecting though.”

You grab the empty popcorn bowl and follow him to the dimly lit kitchen, placing it on the counter. “Stop apologizing, I didn’t have any expectations. I’ve never really done something like this before.” 

“You’ve never had a movie night?” He looks at you in disbelief. 

“I mean, not really,” You look to your feet, “I’ve never really had many friends.” The unspoken _any_ hangs heavy in the air. 

“Oh I didn’t realize-“ 

“It’s okay, really. I didn’t say that for you to feel sorry for me.” 

“No, I’m just, I guess honored is the right word?” You look up to meet his eyes, “Honored that we were able to be the first ones to hang out with you like this. Even if you did fall asleep.” He attempts to look condescending but a smile betrays his sincerity. “I know I’ve already said it but I’m really glad you decided to come tonight.”

“Me too.”

“You know you’re always welcome here, and I probably will always keep inviting you, even when you need to say no. That’s okay too.” You allow a smile to take over your features. “Honestly you should come over for dinner sometime, May makes an unreal lasagna.”

You let out a soft chuckle, “That sounds wonderful. I’d really like that Peter.”

“Me too.”

The moment is calm and quiet. Still. 

You help Peter with the few dishes, drying after he washes. You don’t say much and neither does he. It’s a good sort of silence. 

A few minutes after everything seems cleaned enough you get a text signaling that Happy has arrived. You offer to take down the trash on your way out but Peter tells you not to worry about it. 

“Bye, Peter.”

He gives you a signature Peter Parker smile as he walks you out the door, “Goodnight, y/n.” 

The ride home is just as comfortably silent. 

* * *

You walk as quietly as possible into the kitchen, hoping to grab a glass of water before heading off to bed without ruining the stillness you feel. You can’t help but sigh at the distinct lack of a headache. 

As you round the corner into the kitchen the strong scent of brewing coffee makes you double-take. In the soft light of an open refrigerator, you spot Tony, clad in sweat pants and grease stained tank top, with a take out container in hand, fork hanging out of his mouth. Catching sight of you, he quickly places the container on the counter, wiping the remnants of some sort of sauce from his chin with a napkin. The act is so humanizing you almost catch yourself laughing. 

“Y/n! I thought you’d be up in bed by now.” He glances at the clock above the oven reading just after eleven. “How was movie night?”

“It was good.” You grab a glass from the overhead cabinet. 

“That’s great, there’s some leftover Thai if you want some.” He gestures to the now closed refrigerator. 

“Oh, no thanks, they ordered pizza.”

“Cool,” He turns back to the counter, “I was just making some coffee, you’re welcome to some of that too if you want.”

You let out a small laugh, hoping it sounds as genuine as you mean it, “Normally I would take you up on that but, unfortunately, I think 11:20 is my coffee deadline.” 

He smiles at you, a little sheepish. “Yeah, I tend to stay up a little later than I probably should. What can I say? I do some of my best thinking at night.”

You fill up your glass from the tap, leaning against the counter in thought. “I think that might be genetic.” 

“Who would have thought.” He looks slightly surprised but smiles nonetheless, “Well, I should probably get back to the lab before I forget what I was doing,” Tony takes the whole pot of coffee with him as he turns to leave. 

“Hey, um, Tony?”

He turns to look at you again, a questioning look on his face. 

“Thank you, for, well, everything.”

“Don’t mention it.” He smiles at you again, this time it reaches his eyes, and you both head your separate ways. 

Laying in bed, the night seems calmer than normal, less like the shadows are going to swallow you whole. 

For the first time in your life you feel like you might be able to have a home here, like you could have a new start and people who genuinely care about you. 

And it’s really no one's business if that thought sends you to sleep with a few tears soaking into your pillow. 

* * *

_The room’s dark, and it’s no longer welcoming._

Waking with a racing heart and sweaty forehead, you push yourself up with trembling hands. Swinging your legs off the side of your bed, bare feet barely registering the chill from the floor. You cautiously make your way to your window, pushing aside the sense of dread making a home in the deep part of your gut. Staring into the dark of the night you’re hit with a desperate sense of nothing. 

No street lamps, no stars, no moon. 

No light. 

Stumbling back, the sense of dread growing even hungrier as it races it’s way up the back of your spine, cold sweat making you shiver. Your ashen face stares back at you on the surface of the window. You rub your eyes, willing them to adjust to the darkness quicker, heart rate picking up as you see your fingers fade into inky darkness, the color rapidly spreading up your hands. 

With a scream lodged in your throat your feet lead you to the bathroom, head pounding, the pressure growing with each choppy breath you manage to suck in. Frantically turning the hot water on you scrub at your hands, willing the black to disappear, to no avail.

“Come on, come on,” Hot tears sting your eyes, “Please.” You manage to choke out a shaky plea but aren’t sure what you're even asking for at this point. Lifeless eyes stare back at you in the mirror, making you want to shout, scream, anything to stop this. You watch, helpless, as the ink trails up your throat, beginning to coat your face with sticky darkness.

_“This is who you are.”_ Your voice rings out, your reflection mocking you, but you didn’t open your mouth. _“You bring destruction, pain, staining everything you touch.”_ Your voice is cold, directing you to the inky handprints, footprints, lining your path into the bathroom. 

“No.” 

_“Yes. It’s in you,”_ Your reflection smiles, _“Let it out.”_

A sharp, cool inhale clears the tension in your chest, your eyes snap open and begin adjusting to a new darkness, not quite as deep or foreboding but still leaving you in a state of unease. The ground beneath you is hard, nothing like the soft bed you now remember falling asleep in. You push yourself up into a sitting position. Pushing the heel of your hand against the hard pavement, you wince as a large piece of glass digs into your hand, a deep gash causing blood to rise to the surface of your skin. You tentatively rise into a standing position, mindful to step carefully to avoid slicing your exposed feet on what you now recognize as a shattered bottle. 

As you step forward you finally register where you are. It’d be hard to forget the alleyways surrounding the tiny apartment building you lived in for the past six months. The night air is cold, a reminder the end of the year ticks closer, and you're thankful you went to sleep in your sweatshirt. You pull your hand toward your chest, examining the dark blood dripping down your arm and desperately trying to convince your mind it doesn’t look like black ink in the shadow of the alleyway. 

Stepping into the light of a streetlamp you wrack your mind for how you ended up here, to try to figure out just how crazy you’re going. What time is it? What day is it? What’s real? 

A gruff voice pulls you out of your internal panic, sending icy shivers down your spine, blood running cold. 

“Hey little lady, isn't it too late for you to be out here?” You have a faint recollection but can’t remember how you know the voice, “Been a while since I’ve seen you.” 

You don’t turn around, instead racking your brain to place the voice. 

“What are you too good for us, move upstate, forget all about me? look at me.” You let out an involuntary breath, relieved the past month wasn’t some ridiculously vivid dream, but don’t turn around to face him. “I said look at me, bitch!” 

A hand shoves your shoulder, spinning you around, and your breath is caught in your chest again, rattling what little confidence you did have. Your head begins to throb.

A wave of familiar faces, angry, scared, threatening flashes in your mind before you realize you do know the man in front of you. He normally sits outside your building, calling out at passing women. You did your best to avoid him while living here and for the most part succeeded. Behind him are two men you don’t recognize.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa there guy, that is no way to speak to a lady,” The man is pushed backward, a man you recognize as the infamous Spider-Man stepping in front of you. You would almost jump at him sneaking up from behind you if you weren’t so relieved. 

“Yeah, and what’re you gonna do about it?” One of the men you don’t know speaks up, stepping forward. “You’re outmanned here, kid.” 

“Really? Kid?” Spider-man raises his hand in mock defeat before quickly webbing the guy on the right, sticking his hand to the car behind him. “Oops.” He shoots another web at the other guy, but he manages to dodge it. 

“It’s on.” The man you recognize charges toward Spidey.

As they fight, Spider-man exclaiming, “Come on man, this isn’t a fair fight. I mean for you, not for me obviously.” You attempt to sneak away, willing your legs to move. You manage a step back before an arm violently snakes its way around your waist, a blade coming to your throat. 

“One more move, spider boy, and I slit her throat.” You wince as the pain in your head grows even worse, a pit opens up deep in your stomach.

Spider-man drops his hold on the man, hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. Let’s all just calm down.” 

“I-I” You stutter, trying to form any words. 

“Just let the girl go, man.” 

“You all need to-” Your knees buckle as your body erupts in energy, you fall to the ground, you feel your head hit the ground as the world erupts and is plunged in sudden darkness. 

For the second time this night, you find yourself lying down on the pavement with no real idea of how you got here. With a groan you push yourself up from the ground, clutching your head in pain. 

You take in your surroundings through slightly blurred eyes, the three men are slumped against the building, causing a sense of relief to flow through your body before you spot the fourth body lying motionless on the ground.

“No.” You push yourself forward, racing to his side, “No, no, no.” You try to shake him awake but he doesn’t make any move whatsoever. “I can not have killed Spider-man. Please wake up.” Your eyes burn, matching the pain in your head, unshed tears threatening to spill over. You gently place your head to his chest, ears picking up a small, choppy heartbeat. You lean back on your heels, “Thank god.” 

And in a second, still reeling with panic, you pull out your phone, once again thankful you fell asleep in your sweatshirt. 

You dial the first person you think of, not even considering it's four in the morning.

“H-hello?” The phone picks up after a few rings, sleep evident in their voice. 

“I think I messed up.” You take a steadying breath. It doesn’t work, “Really bad.” 

“I’ll be there in ten.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, if I thought the last chapter was long, I should've waited till I wrote this one. Sorry it took forever to get posted. I've also barely edited it, so spelling and grammar things please feel free to let me know haha. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


	4. And every day, I add another stone To the walls I built around you To keep you safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of your blowout sets you back as you try desperately to adjust to a new way of life, maybe your just not cut out for this.

When he arrives, Steve finds you with your head on your knees leaning against the wall, Spiderman still passed out in front of you. 

“Y/n,” The sound of Steve’s voice causes you to flinch. You lift your head to look at him through red-rimmed eyes. He’s dressed in his Captain America Uniform, seeming to have grasped the idea some sort of power related incident had occurred. “What happened? How did you even get here?” 

You just shake your head, tears rising back to the surface, and pull your knees closer to your chest. Steve crouches, attempting to get on the same level as you, and places a tentative hand on your shoulder. 

“It’s okay, I’m just here to help, okay?” He waits for you to nod, “I just need a little more context.” 

“I went to bed in the tower after getting home from Peter’s,” Steve’s eyes widen a bit in what you assume is suspicion, you quickly begin spewing more information to convince him, “Tony saw me, I ran into him in the kitchen, I promise.” He offers a stiff nod, eyes still set on yours, “And all of a sudden I woke up here, in the alleyway, I-I don’t know how, I just woke up on the pavement. You have to believe me...I don’t have any idea-”

“Y/n,” Steve says your name, breaking you away from your budding panic, “I believe you. Can you explain what happened after that?”

You take a deep breath, using your hand to wipe down your face, shooing away a few tears that managed to leak out, “I was trying to sort out what happened, I was really out of it and they just showed up out of nowhere. I knew one of them, he sometimes sits outside my old building, I guess I didn’t really listen to what he was saying and all of a sudden he was angry and I didn’t know what-” Your throat tightens and you attempt to clear it before continuing, “Anyway, Spiderman stepped in and took care of them pretty quickly but one slipped passed and he, he had a knife and grabbed me and- I didn’t mean to, I’m sure Spiderman could’ve handled it, but I just couldn’t hold it in.”

Steve stands and turns from you, assessing the damage. For the first time in weeks, and without really trying, you can feel the anger building in him. It seems all your powers are cranked up to one hundred percent again. 

“I’m sorry.” You opt to stay silent for the rest of whatever he has to do, knowing talking back doesn’t make things better. 

“We have to get you and Spiderman back to the compound. You need medical attention.” You nod at his words, a reminder of the throbbing at your temple, “I’m going to have to call Tony.” 

You let your head drop. 

“Hey,” He’s turned back around to you, understanding on his face, “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at the situation, and them.” Steve gestures to the men who are passed out around you. “I just need Tony to notify the authorities and doctors while I get you back home.” 

* * *

After returning to the compound and getting checked out by the doctor, “a mild concussion, should be better in a week or two, just get some rest,” you’re dismissed. 

Crawling into bed, however, you can’t seem to get the image of Spiderman laying motionless, almost lifeless, at your feet out of your head. Every time you close your eyes you see images of yourself causing more destruction. 

“Come on, just go to sleep.” You mumble to yourself after tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position. The sun is beginning to peek over the horizon, casting stripes of warm light through the cracks in the curtains. 

“Anything you want to get off your mind?” The voice startles you. Pushing yourself into a sitting position you see Tony hesitating in the doorway. “Sorry, should’ve knocked.”

You just nod. 

“I was hoping we could talk about what happened, I think I might be able to offer some clarity, believe it or not.” You shrug, not sure what you can say besides what you already told Steve. 

“Once Steve called me and I had contacted everyone I needed to, I checked the security tapes,” He pulls a small tablet out from his pocket, opening it to a video of your room. “Don’t worry, we only check them when something like this happens. Anyway,” Tony presses play. 

There you are, lying in bed, tossing and turning. Your mind shudders at the memory of the nightmare you had before waking in the alley. All of a sudden you watch as the shadows in the room seemingly race towards you, covering you, before, just as quickly, you’re gone. 

“This was forty-five minutes before you called Steve.” He turns away from the video to look at you, eye to eye, “Any idea of what happened?” 

“I’ve never done anything like that before.” Your voice comes out barely louder than a whisper. 

“I figured you’d say that,” He puts the tablet away. “I think we’re going to call whatever you can do a form of shadow manipulation, with a touch of empathic capabilities.” You just look at him with wide eyes. “I think we should talk more about this in the morning. If you wake up here that is,” He stands to leave as you gape at him, “Only joking.” Tony turns to leave, “Mostly.”

“Tony?” He faces you again, just like he did last night, “how is, um, Spiderman?” 

He offers you a smile, “He’ll be out of commission for a few days but he’s going to be okay. Spiderling is a tough one, it’ll take a little more than an accidental burst of energy to take him out. Goodnight, Y/N, or I guess good morning. Get some sleep.” 

“Goodnight.” 

* * * 

The next week consists of nothing but you hauled up in your room, desperately hoping the world will somehow forget you. 

You refuse to leave your room for any reason. Eventually, Tony or Steve begin to drop off your meals but you manage to exchange very few words with either of them. Even Nat stopped by at one point but there was very little anyone could do to get you to leave the safety of your room. 

It’s like this newly revealed power has kicked your body into overdrive yet drained you of all your confidence. So instead you make the conscious decision to keep away from people, hoping to prevent another blowup. 

You watch as warm light spills through the window, watching the sun drift lower in the autumn sky. October has come quickly, bringing with it a spur of cold days and rapidly changing leaves. 

Despite your rather lackluster upbringing, October has always held a handful of memories you keep securely tucked away deep within your mind. Trick or treating in handmade costumes, hot apple cider when the wind begins to pick up prepared by a mom who loved you, curling up into her side while watching The Addams Family. It’s these memories that have you finally stepping into the elevator, making your way to the ground floor for hopefully just a whiff of crisp fall air from more than just your opened window. 

Taking a few steps off of the sidewalk into the grass, you feel a chill race up your body from the bottoms of your bare feet to the top of your head. Tiny pinpricks shoot up on your arms, and you breathe in deeply. It’s a welcoming sort of chilled energy that flows through you, an anticipation of something good on its way.

You give in to the clear day, dropping yourself onto the ground, eyes dancing over the shifting red and yellows in the trees lining the compound. A contented smile betrays your stone-cold demeanor and you close your eyes, breathing deeply again, as if trying to memorize what the touches of fall feel like on your skin, in your bones. 

You’re not sure how long you sit there, eyes closed, peaceful. Maybe minutes, maybe an hour, but you don’t really care. For the first time since after movie night at Peter’s you allow yourself to feel the simple joy life sometimes throws at you. 

“Oh my god, is this a rare y/n sighting?” A voice calls out behind you after a few moments, startling you from your thoughts. “And, no it can’t be, she’s smiling?” 

You can feel them slump down beside you with a small “oof” and open your eyes to see Peter, face plastered with excitement. 

“Ha, ha.” You laugh sarcastically, “Hi Peter.”

“How have you been? I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s only been a week, max.” 

He chuckles, “Yeah well, that’s close enough. I’ve been at the compound like every day this week and haven’t seen you once.” 

You ponder how to respond, not sure how much he knows or how much you want to tell him. “Yeah, the past week has been a little chaotic.” You settle on, turning your gaze from him. It’s not really a lie, even if he doesn’t fully grasp what you’re alluding to. 

“I hear you, Mr. Stark has me here to do some testing with him or something. Wants to keep me close until it’s over. I think I should be here for a few more days.” 

“Wait,” Something from what he said catches you off guard, “You’ve been  _ staying _ at the compound?”

He laughs again, “Yeah, it’s not that out of the ordinary. It happens every so often. May doesn’t really mind.” 

“What about school, you’re still a senior right?” 

“Yeah, but a pass from Tony Stark pretty much excuses anything. Especially since I go to a weird scientifically focused high school, and what I work on here is all science-related, it’s pretty much a free pass.” You sit and watch as he talks, his hands flying everywhere as if to emphasize his points. You can’t help but want to reach out and grab them, slow them down, help him feel the peace you did just a few minutes ago. 

He’s animated, bright, excitable. So different from you, and yet he feels safe, calm, happy. You wonder if you’re just feeling his emotions, he does always seem to be so  _ happy _ . 

“—the one who cares the most. Says it’s boring without me. He asked to see if Mr. Stark would offer him an internship too but Mr. Stark just said something about how this is a special circumstance which is a dumb excuse if you ask me, no offense of course, but—“ And then you do it. His hand feels warm in yours and surprisingly calloused, like he frequently works with his hands. You look up at him, his cheeks pink and eyes wide, and quickly pull back, unsure of why you actually grabbed him in the first place.

“Sorry, sorry. I just, I thought you could use a deep breath, but I didn’t want to interrupt.” You pull your hand into your lap, “Sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” You chance a look at him and he’s smiling again, looking towards the outer lawn, cheeks still slightly pink. He’s brought his own hands together in front of himself. 

“Well, um, maybe next time you stay over at the compound you could text me, and we could hang out or something.” He turns to make eye contact with you, slightly shocked, “I mean, only if you want to!” You add quickly. 

“I’d like that.” 

You sit in silence for a few moments, begging the heat on your cheeks to fade and wordlessly berating yourself for your stupidity, before Peter speaks up again.

“You know, I'm here to talk, whenever. About pretty much anything. It’s really nice having a friend here at the compound.” He sighs, “Sometimes I feel like I’m just some annoying kid everyone puts up with, you know? Even when Mr. Stark asks for my opinion, it’s like it’s out of politeness. I know it’s not but sometimes I don’t always believe it.” 

You nod. “I feel the same way sometimes,” You swallow a lump in your throat, “Most of the time really. I’m not exactly sure why Tony took me in if not out of pity.” It’s the first time you’ve voiced this out loud, and you’re surprised by how easily and comfortably you opened up around Peter. 

“Yeah, that must be weird. It’s a huge adjustment on both ends.” Peter turns to look at you, “For what it counts, I know he cares about you. He has a tendency to ramble in the lab, and most recently it’s about how he wishes he could connect with you better.” He slowly reaches out, placing his hand over yours, and this time it’s out of comfort and you’re struck with feelings of warmth and understanding. And you distinctly feel no trace of pity. “It takes time.” 

“Thanks, Peter. There’s just so much neither of us understands about so many things.” He lets out a little gasp and you know your emotions have spilled over, letting him feel the bubbling insecurity and hurt lying beneath your calm and collected surface. You pull your hand away from his, “Sorry.” 

“It’s alright—“ Just then the watch you didn’t even realize he was wearing chimes, followed by Tony’s voice.

“Hey, kid. What did I say about leaving the lab? You still need a few more days. Where are you? That question is just a formality, by the way, I already have your location.” 

Peter presses a button and responds, “Yeah, sorry Mr. Stark. I just wanted some fresh air. I'll be back in like five.” 

“Make it two, three days ago you couldn’t walk—“ Peter quickly covers the watch and begins to speak over it. 

“Well looks like that’s my cue! It was nice talking to you, y/n. I’ll text you next time.” He pushes himself up with a soft groan and limps for a few steps as he walks away. 

You stand up with relative ease and chase after him as he stumbles a bit. “Peter!” You attempt to stabilize him but he pulls away with a slight wince. “Are you—“ 

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” He waves his hand in the air in a gesture of nonchalant, “I’m all good.” He gives you two thumbs up as if that’s more convincing. “Just a little achy from a few days pouring over notes, I’m not exactly known for my good posture,” He hunches over to prove his point and walks away from you, “Well, see ya!” 

“Yeah. See you…” You let your eyes trail after him, trying to catch a glimpse of the limp you saw earlier but he seems fine, normal even. Shaking your head in an attempt to clear it, you allow yourself a few more moments of peace, collapsing back down on the lawn, relishing in the silence. 

You sit there as the sun slowly begins to droop lower and lower below the horizon, the day growing colder, sending chills down your back. When it begins to get unacceptably dark, the lights shutting off slowly around the compound, you decide to call it a night. Peeling your body off the ground and twisting around trying to ease the small crick in your spine, you start your slow walk back to your room. You are thankful for the emptiness of the compound, still not too keen on seeing anyone. You lean back against the cool wall of the elevator as it climbs to your floor, the doors opening with a soft ding and in just a few moments you were tucked safely away, back in bed.

* * *

You’re awoken the next morning by a soft knock on your door. Quickly pulling your hair back and attempting to rub the sleep from your eyes you call out, “Come in!” Your voice rough from disuse. 

You become a bit more alert when Bruce walks in, not really sure who you expected but definitely not him. 

“Hey y/n.” He walks towards your bed, looking just about as awkward as you feel, “Mind if I sit?” He gestures to your desk chair to which you nod. 

“I’ve been meaning to stop by and see how you are. I, uh, tried to talk to you yesterday but you weren’t in here, and I thought I should probably let you get some time outside of this room.” He rubs his fingers on the outer seam of his jeans, clearly not sure how to continue the conversation or bring up what he really wants to talk about. It doesn’t really take your powers to feel the apprehension and unease pouring off of him, but your powers really leave nothing up to the imagination. 

You take a few deep breaths, trying to ignore the rush of emotions coming from both you and him, absentmindedly fiddling with the band you still wear even though it seems to have lost all its use. 

“I just thought maybe I could give you some insight on how to proceed from here?” It comes out more like a question and you can’t help but be a little surprised. This isn’t what you thought this conversation would be about. “I don’t want you to spend your life isolated and afraid of who you are or what you can do. Believe me, there is so much more to life than that. I’ve been there. And I’ve moved past it.” He looks you in the eyes as he speaks, and you feel his nerves melt into a soft sort of confidence as he begins to figure out the right words. “I’m working on a new band, but obviously we have seen your powers are able to adapt to whatever roadblocks we send your way so it will probably be a temporary solution. In the meantime, I think it could be beneficial to start a training regime. It’s not going to be a quick fix but finding small ways to train your body and mind my help. It helped me.” 

It’s then that you feel a small sadness underpaying his words. You sigh, tired of everyone pitying you. But then you realize this is something different.  _ Empathy _ . 

“—It’s rarely busy except for team training, so you should be fine. I can get you a schedule if that would make you more comfortable. If it would be better I could also find someone to help you train or train alongside you if you would like. 

“That won’t be necessary. I can work alone.” You leave the unspoken  _ it’s safer that way  _ heavy in the air. 

He stands up, a soft smile on his face, “Okay well, it’s a Saturday so no one should be in the training room for the most part.” He makes his way to the door, “I meant what I said, y/n. You have so much to offer, don’t hide away completely. Learn and grow instead.” He chuckles, “I mean it’s way more complicated than that, I know, but just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it.” With a small nod, he leaves. 

* * *

It wasn’t until later that afternoon that you made up your mind to at least check out the training room, boredom causing Bruce’s words to play on repeat through your head. 

The room is huge, modern decor and equipment in white and gray are spaced around the room with a large open area in the middle you assume is used for sparring. You aimlessly walk through the rows of exercise equipment, eyeing them suspiciously before a voice rings out, startling you. 

“Miss y/l/n, can I offer you a proposed training schedule? I took the liberty of drawing one up when after your conversation yesterday with Dr. Banner.” FRIDAY asks. 

Ignoring the slight cringe as the statement brings the awareness of always being monitored, you reply with a “Sure, thanks.” and begin a small training session. 

The next few days you find yourself back in the training room, to be honest the sessions are short and you don’t do much but you’re happy to have something to fill your time once you finish your course work. You’ve found a time of day when the room seems to always be empty and relish in the alone time outside of your room. Sometimes you get FRIDAY to play music in the background, other times you enjoy the silence. You can’t tell if it’s actually helping you learn to control your powers but you are willing to try anything at this point. 

A week after your first visit to the room you return yet again, calling out to FRIDAY as you enter but stopping short as your eyes land on the very not empty sparring mats. Sam stops short as you walk into view, Natasha taking the opportunity to bring him to the ground, not that he wasn’t already almost there. Thor lets out a deep laugh at the scene before turning his gaze to you. 

“Lady Stark! What a wonderful surprise!” He stands up from his spot against the wall watching the others fight and you feel your cheeks flush. 

“Um, my last name is y/l/n actually, well you can just call me y/n if you want, or not.” You shove your hands deep into your pockets, willing them to stop shaking. You mentally remind yourself to check in with FRIDAY to make sure the room is actually empty next time. 

“My apologies Lady y/l/n. What can we do for you?” 

“I was coming down to train actually, but I think I’ll come back another time.” You turn to leave but Sam stops you. 

“Don’t worry about it, the room has plenty of space for all of us.” He’s gotten to his feet, rubbing his shoulder where it hit the ground. 

“Definitely, I’ll even let you step in, I’m sure Sam could use the extra ass beating,” Natasha smirks as Sam playfully pushes at her and Thor laughs again. 

“I, uh-” You falter, not wanting to sound rude but definitely not comfortable enough to spar with anyone for real. 

“Or you could just sit by Thor and watch me take him down again.” Nat winks at you and you give her a soft smile, realizing she was mainly joking before. 

You cautiously make your way around the mat to sit down against the wall next to Thor. The others begin throwing punches almost immediately. 

“Lady y/l/n, I wasn’t aware you had been spending time training,” Thor speaks to you as your eyes follow Nat and Sam, mesmerized by the ease they have in dodging and landing shots. 

“I’ve been doing it a little. Dr. Banner actually suggested it.” You leave it at that, once again not sure what everyone knows about you. 

“Well, I’m sure you’ll shape up to be quite the warrior!” He smiles at you, turning his attention back to the others sparring. 

“You know-” Nat speaks to you as she dodges one of Sam’s blows, an easy smile on her face, “You could really train with us if you wanted to-” She ducks again, landing her own hit to Sam’s stomach as he lets out a grunt. 

“Yeah-” Sam ducks, narrowly avoiding Natasha’s right hook, “We’re in here most days, while Thor just sits on his ass.” 

Thor lets out a laugh and this time it doesn’t startle you, instead you feel the warmth and fondness radiating off of all three of them. “There is simply no one to match my level of strength. With whom am I supposed to spar?” 

“Watch it or I’ll take you down too,” Nat says before swiftly knocking Sam’s feet out from under him with a kick. 

“Damn.” He sits up, hand pressed to the back of his head. 

“You’ll get her next time, I have no doubts.” Thor says encouragingly before turning to you, “I have some doubts,” He mock-whispers, causing you to laugh along with him. 

“I heard that!” Sam stands up and grabs a towel from the floor, wiping sweat off his brow as Nat takes a long drink of water. 

“How about it y/n, care to join us next time? I promise we’ll take it easy the first few times.” Nat offers, looking over to you. 

“I think I’ll have to pass. I’m content with some individual training for now.” 

She shrugs, a smile finding its way onto her face, “Suit yourself, the offer still stands if you change your mind.” With that she walks over to Thor, offering him a hand as he gets to his feet, “Come on God of Thunder, we’ve got places to be.” 

And with a wave and goodbye, they were gone, leaving you to your silence and self. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took me so long to get out! Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> (I didn't proof it as well as I probably should have so my apologies for any mistakes.)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, I promise Peter will actually be in the next one haha.
> 
> Goodbye!  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
